919.589.4170 info@whiteoaklegal.com

Finding Your New Normal After a Divorce


Going through a split is a major loss, there’s no way around it. Even if the divorce is amicable, or you were the one that initiated it, you’re going to feel a lot of uncertainty, regret, anger, and a host of other emotions.

Once the dust has settled, though, you’re going to need to find a new normal. This means reclaiming your life and finding a new way in the world as a single person – and possibly, a single parent.

Fully Accept Your New Situation

Fully owning and accepting the divorce you’ve gone through is not a one-and-done event. It’s a process, and some days you’ll do better than others. However, the sooner you orient yourself to your new situation, the sooner you’ll find things getting more stable.

Don’t be afraid to open up to those around you, even if you’re the one that initiated the split. A lot of people have been through what you are going through, and you’ll find more support that you may expect.

Find Your Supporters

Some people around you will take extra steps to be there for you. Those folks are your supports, and you should make sure you know who they are. You’ll need people you can rely on, call when the loneliness is too much, or lean on when you’re not sure your ready for a new relationship.

These folks may be different than the friends you have had over the years, so don’t be surprised if some old friends step away and new ones show up. It’s all part of the shift into a new normal.

Make Your Home Yours

You may still live in the home you and your ex shared, or you may have moved as part of the divorce. Either way, make your new living space fully yours.

This may mean getting rid of things that were important in the old relationship. You might get rid of your old bed and even use a smaller bed for a time. It may also mean decorating in colors your ex hated or putting up artwork that is unique to you alone.

Did you want a bachelor’s pad but she wouldn’t have it? Now’s the time. Or did you want to decorate the bedroom in flowery comforters and dozens of pillows, but he objected? It’s your space now.

Find New Hobbies

Another step to finding your new normal after a split is to discover new hobbies for yourself. You may not be able to bring yourself to do things that the two of you used to do together. However, you can explore things that you never felt you could with your ex around.

Want to try a wine-and-paint class? Rock climbing? Wood working? Zumba? Look for things you’ve always kicked around but never pulled the trigger one, and make space and time for them. This will help you build confidence and find a new sense of joy in your life.

Get Help From an Attorney Through Divorce

Navigating a divorce is a major challenge, but you can come out the other side as a whole, happy, and healthy person. If you’re considering divorce or find yourself in the midst of it, the first ally you need is a family law attorney.

We can help you walk through the process, understand your rights, and make sure you aren’t taken advantage of. Contact us for more information today!

Call Now!
Message Us